Living with Hope - Part III

When we left our Heavenly Father’s presence He sent us with gifts to keep us connected to Him. He sent us with the Light of Christ to guide us to truth. He sent us with the ability to feel love and to give love, so that we might form relationships that would bless all of our lives and in them see the love of God. He gave us the scriptures and prophets that we might remember him and come to know him that we might return to him one day. Everything he has done in all eternity is done that we, his children, might return home to the Father who sent us on our way. This understanding of who we are – whose we are – and where we are going is another essential element in maintaining hope.
In talking in a CES Fireside, President Uchtdorf re-told the famous story of the Ugly Duckling to teach this principle:
“Today I hope to impress upon your mind and heart how a knowledge of who you really are can help you to successfully conquer the most difficult issues in life.” (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, The Reflection in the Water, CES Fireside, Nov. 2010, p.2)
How does knowing who we really are strengthen us to face life’s challenges?
In the story of the Ugly Duckling the creature that emerged from an egg mistakenly placed in a nest of duck eggs had no more idea who he was initially than we do when we are born with our lack of memory of former times. As a result he really struggled in his life until he understood what he was and what he was destined for. President Uchtdorf drew clear correlations between us and our experiences and that of the beautiful swan that spent a long time believing he was an ugly duckling. He said:
“There will always be voices telling you that you are foolish to believe that you are swans, insisting you are but ugly ducklings and that you can’t expect to become anything else.
No matter your circumstances or trials in life, I urge you to remember who you are, where you came from, and where you are going—for the answers to those questions will truly provide confidence and direction for your life.” (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, The Reflection in the Water, CES Fireside, Nov. 2010, p.7)
When I have confidence and direction, I know I feel a lot more hopeful, so when we feel discouraged or overwhelmed or lost, President Uchtdorf counsels us to remember that:
“You are sons and daughters of the greatest, most glorious being in the universe. He loves you with an infinite love. He wants the best for you. Do you think our Father in Heaven wants you to feel depressed and sad? He wants no such thing.” (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, The Reflection in the Water, CES Fireside, Nov. 2010, p.3)
“Our destiny is greater than we can imagine... The next time you feel unhappy, remember where you came from and where you are going. Rather than focus on things that dampen your thoughts with sorrow, choose to focus on those things that fill your soul with hope.” (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, The Reflection in the Water, CES Fireside, Nov. 2010, p.3)
Hope bubbles up and fills our life with feelings that brighten our outlook and lift our spirits, creating positive attitudes and preparing us to take action. When we are discouraged, one of the greatest sources for reviving hope is in happy, loving relationships. These relationships are essential to maintaining hope in times of difficulty – all of us face challenges that bring us to our knees and wet our faces with tears. At all times and especially at those times, it is so important that we focus on things that fill us with hope. Friendships that remind us of who we are can guide us and lift us in stormy times and help us keep our heads above water. And so President Uchtdorf tells us to reach out to each other:
“I am certain that you were not created to spend the hours and days of your lives isolated from each other in worry or despair…Get together…in your wards or branches… Dance together, study the gospel together, work together, serve your fellowmen together—and have fun doing it.”
Sharing with others and serving others does help us feel the love of God in our lives and remind us that he is the Father of us all. So we need to open the doors of our hearts to friends and neighbors, and if they don’t walk into our lives then we will need to walk out of our doors and enter theirs. This was not something that was easy for me to do. It was an area of my life in which I lacked confidence. Consequently I suffered alone many times, overwhelmed by responsibilities or by life’s challenges, but I was unable to get past the negative messages that come to those who, like the ugly duckling, have not yet found and embraced their true identity. Those messages sound a lot like: “You don’t belong here.” “You don’t deserve to be happy.” “You are not desirable or attractive to other people.” These messages that sound so ridiculous to our brains are embraced tightly by our hearts until the truth of who we are dislodges them and our hearts are changed. My head looked for answers to my heart’s sadness, and continually I heard messages that I should reach out and serve others and be a friend. These messages rang true to me, so I worked to incorporate this counsel into my life. And slowly things changed. These small changes allowed me to hope that I might learn to love and to feel the love of God in my life at all times. Years passed with ever increasing opportunities for service and friendship. My heart healed as I found my place as one of Heavenly Father’s children.
In 2008, when President Monson counseled us to do something for someone else every day, I found myself responding happily and willingly to that challenge. My spiritual and emotional circumstances had changed so thoroughly that as I prayerfully pursued a course of daily service, I found opportunities all around me and recognized readily the promptings of what I could do.
This change, this movement of knowing about our Heavenly Father in our heads to having faith in Him in our hearts, is a universal experience among people of faith who press forward confidently, happily and with determination to serve Heavenly Father’s children – in other words, people who have hope.
Last year Parade magazine featured an article on Tony Blair, the former Prime Minister of Great Britain, that illustrates this so well.
(Tony Blair said he) remembers very clearly the day his faith became personal. When he was 10 years old, his father suffered a severe stroke and was rushed to the hospital. Uncertain if his father would live, he went to school fearful of the future. His teacher, noticing his young student’s anxiety, suggested that they kneel and pray for his father’s recovery. Tony Blair hesitantly whispered, “I’m afraid my father doesn’t believe in God.”
The teacher’s reply made a lasting impression: “That doesn’t matter. God believes in him. He loves him without demanding or needing love in return.”
…He still points to that conversation with his teacher as a pivotal moment his life. He realized that his faith gave him a sense of purpose and direction. “Faith matters,” he says, “because it inspires people to act and raise their sights beyond themselves.”
He drew the following conclusions about faith: Faith in something larger than ourselves gives us a reason to hope, a reason to move forward when life wears us down, a reason to love and believe in love. It teaches not only that we have worth in the eyes of our creator, but also that everyone else has the same worth. (“Why Faith Matters,” Parade, Sept. 12, 2010, 22.)